Dear Parents and others,
It has come to my attention that Korean children do not have a bed time. I see these small innocent creatures wandering the streets late at night and by late, I mean around 11:30 p.m.
I decided to do a little investigating.
I asked my class of second graders when they went to school and like most American children they said they go to school at 8:00 a.m. and like most American school children they get up at 7:00 a.m. to brush their teeth, comb their hair, and play on their new cell phones.
I found this to be rather curious, so I asked what time they and their parents went to bed. They informed me that they went to bed at around 12:00 a.m. and their parents usually went to bed at 3:00 a.m. They did not insinuate that there was in fact a bed time or that they wished to stay up later. Midnight is merely a time for them to go to sleep.
I was astounded!!! A child receiving only 7 hours of sleep with a full load of course work the next day, most my students (second graders) are in regular school for about eight hours; they have about two hours of after school activities ranging from Taekwondo to Piano, and then they have more school activities such as English, Spanish or Math class.
I guess Koreans just don't need that beauty sleep that we in the states do.
Now onto my next topic ghosts:
The other day I was really stressed at my class and I put my hair over my face like Cousin It. The children began to scream, "Ghost! Ghost!"
When I think of a ghosts, I think of a small fluffy character like Casper, but Koreans think of a cryptic Samara from The Ring.
Thus, if I ever want to scare my students into doing their homework and staying up until 3:00 a.m. because they are afraid the ghost will visit them at night, I simply put my hair over my face and tell them, "I'll get you if you aren't good to teacher."
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It has come to my attention that the demographic of responsive attendees to your travelogue has diminshed to discouraging levels. This demands rigourous and unrelenting investigation. Correct me if I am wrong but ostensibly the main nucleus of your family should be waiting with bated breath for everyone of your informative South Korean dispatches. However, the Matriach Mamma Jules is the only member of your blood clan to actually respond with a posting. You have dedicated one alarmist jibe to your beloved g-ma, who hopefully has not abandoned you to the wastes of cyberspace. This jibe elicted the unveiling of another identified reader, a 'Jenica' who apparently reviews your postings with a liberal side-helping of inferior reality television in the company of a mysterious individual known only as 'ahole'. A Michelle/Shelly persona posted once but never again, apparently satisfied with one helping of delicious Asianblog-pie. And then there is of course myself, the pseudonymous Balthazar. To date, I, an unknown, unidentified, potentialy dangerous persona and jerkeaton are the only repeat posters on your online accounting of Oreintal adventures. The multiple instances of low frequency posters leads me to a frightening conclusion: Someone is killing off your readers, or people are not sufficiently stimulated by your posts thus far. Time to rev up the old over-stimulator and ram that puppy home. Give these jaded American's an extra helping of spciy, phospherous verbiage, steaming with luridity and verisimilitude. Keep fighting the good fight sistah keaton!
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ReplyDeleteAfter several days of focused introspection, I realized my above post might be interpreted as bellicose hostility. My deepest apologies if I have ostracized or alienated any of your readers. It was only my intent to galvanize some response from those who read but never respond. In other news, I am very curious what a pious and virtuous schoolmarm such as yourself is doing wandering the streets at 11:30 at night. Do you attend the South Korean club scene? Is it bumpin'? Feel free to respond in code according to the following codex:If all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same day...
ReplyDeleteBut you Balthazar, you have taken an interest in this blog. Within two minutes you made two comments. Could you possibly be a stalker overseas? I know this blog has created the much needed fame that I longed for so hopelessly at the ripe age of 14. I guess fame does have a cost though? I get Balthazar's on my tail.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I also have some other ideas of you and your motive...
Could you possibly be a man that doesn't go to work very often and enjoys tinkering on his iphone, which he purchased in Seattle about a year ago... A man who enjoys spending time at his desk social networking and dirty joking.
Then again it could be a jealous sibling, but I highly doubt this jealous sibling has even read the creative reflections of an over-achiever, sparkle in her father's eye person such as myself.
Then again, it could be a cousin who recently switched jobs after once being the computer guru in the family. A man who enjoys using the synonyms tab on the keyboard...
The search is on and believe me my nose is strong!!!